Oh Boy

Where to start?

I'm a week into Army PRT training and have been trying to survive that long without constant internet connection. Life is rough, let me tell you.

We wake up at the ass-crack of dawn every morning, sometimes we PT, sometimes we don't. Lately we've been in "hury up and wait" mode which essentially means we rush to be somewhere on time only to find out that there's 3 groups in front of us that we have to wait on. We literally spent 5 hours the other day sitting out in the sun doing nothing because they had garbage equipment that kept breaking for the group in front of us so we couldn't go.

I went to the hospital the other day.

I get bad migraine headaches; I've had them for as long as I can remember. It's just the way it's been. The other day (I can't remember which one exactly, they run together out here) I had the worst one of my life. I was shaking and hyperventilating because I was in so much pain so they called emergency and I got my first ambulance ride.

I saw an ER doctor and he recommended a medical evaluation board to determine my deployable status. Tomorrow I go see a neurologist and he may or may not start that process. Basically, I might be coming home.

Here's the thing: I don't want to leave my team hanging. I'm one of four comm. guys on this particular team. I've already started my training, I'm here, let's do it. I also don't want to have another episode like what I had in the middle of BFE Afghanistan where I'll be. But more importantly: DAMN I want to go home. I miss my wife, I miss my friends, I miss my dog, I miss the Thai restaurant down the road, and I miss not being here. I already have my hopes up and I'm going to try my best to get the doctor to send me home and the hell out of here. I don't care about the consequences, I don't care about anything else, I want to go home to my wife and my NORMAL job.

I don't know what I'll do if they tell me I can't go home.